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Tradition 12 · December 16

Buried Just Like Other Folks

Daily Traditions · December 16

The threat

The threat arrived dressed as gratitude. When it was certain Dr. Bob was dying, friends proposed a monument (Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers) — and "a collection had already been started. Hearing this, Dr. Bob promptly asked that the money be given back and declared against the Fellowship's erecting for Anne and himself any tangible memorials or monuments." Dr. Bob grinned and told Bill, “Let's you and I get buried just like other folks.” A grin — that is how close A.A. came to its first shrine, and how lightly the man at the center turned the shovel aside. Later Bill stood in the Akron cemetery and found the answer in the grass (A.A. pamphlet P-17): "Their simple stone says never a word about Alcoholics Anonymous. This made me so glad I cried." The Fellowship's love was the danger. The refusal was the Tradition, practiced in advance, on his own grave.

Sit with

The monument was love's idea, and the dying man sent the money back. What tribute am I building that the person it honors would refuse?

Grounded in: Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers (the refused monument); P-17 (the 1955 essay).

Tradition 12

"Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities."
Read the Long Form (pp. 563–566). The short form on pp. 561–562 is the one everybody quotes — but the Long Form is where the Traditions actually say what they mean. Tradition 3's "no other affiliation" clause, for instance, exists only in the Long Form. That single clause is why no treatment centre can own an A.A. group. Most of what circulates online skips it.

And a distinction worth keeping straight: the Traditions are governance, not theology. They bind A.A. groups and the Fellowship — not individuals, and not outside businesses. They were adopted in 1950 to keep A.A. from being owned or co-opted. They are not a rulebook for your personal life.
What the Traditions actually say → The Long Form, p. 563 → Search the Big Book → Every day this month →
Ask Recovery Einstein about Tradition 12 → Get the app →
← December 15A Face for the Panel Tradition 12All of December December 17 →The Same Old Black Dress

Daily Traditions is an independent educational resource from Recovery Starts — not official A.A. literature, not affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, and not medical advice. The Twelve Traditions are the property of A.A. Page references are to Alcoholics Anonymous (the Big Book), 4th Edition: short form 561–562, long form 563–566. If you're in crisis, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline).